2933
after caressing my face with the fly swatter for a good 5 minutes I then realized i was in fact caressing my face with a bug killing device. this is my life.
A message from Anonymous
I want to eat pizza with you too. On your chest. While you're naked in bed.
Sounds like an everyday evening for me.
A message from justagirlwithredglasses
So it seems like people keep making demanding requests about you and pizza. I'd just like to eat pizza with you.
Thank you! I appreciate that. I’d like to just eat pizza with someone. SEE PEOPLE. THIS IS HOW YOU GET IN THY APRON.
A message from Anonymous
But you're like really a ladies man, Garry Potter.
Ahh maybe to you, and on the internet but not in real life. The only time I think anyones ever called me attractive was this girl in a Dollar store. She was autistic. It was pretty much the highlight of my life though.
A message from Anonymous
Make me a heart shaped pizza when you propose to me <3
Sure, If that’s what you would like.
A message from Anonymous
Do you make the pizza where you work?
Yup, that’s my job! I’ve made thousands and thousands of pizzas.
Ladies, I’d just like to point out that I’m the kind of guy who keeps everything. Can you guys read any of the movie titles?
